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| What Heaven, I thought, May be Isn't at all. In fact, what I thought it would never become is what it has always been.There is some shit that i'm so fucking fed up with that I live with every fucking day. I'm so fucking tired of the same shit all the time. Sometimes I hate and sometimes I'm glad. But most days, I just want to slap the shit out of someone and it's just eating away at me. I'm so sick of this bullshit and fucking lies I witness, toward me, toward other people... I've just had enough with people who are selfish. That's all I'm gonna say. sam
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You've Got Mail
By Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Greg Kinnear, Parker Posey, Jean Stapleton, Steve Zahn, Heather Burns, Dave Chappelle, Dabney Coleman, John Randolph, Deborah Rush, Hallee Hirsh, Jeffrey Scaperrotta, Cara Seymour, Katie Finneran, Michael Badalucco, Veanne Cox, Bruce Jay Friedman, Sara Ramirez, Howard Spiegel
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**it's the same night** So. .... **big sigh after that annoying self theraputic shit** ... I wish we had a trampolene here... I would be outside so much more. I don't know, I'm one of those people who would spend hours just laying down on it while star gazing and listening to the sound of nothing and the occasional druken frat-dude or tramp-stamp chick walk into their buildings. I wouldn't care if it's cold 'cause I'd be outside with a two sweaters on and everything. I also wish we had like a shower, shower.... although I must confess that I am completely comfortable with the one we have now cause I can take bubble baths in it. But, (( I don't know if you've seen the Sudacare commercials for the shower soothers thing. I really, really want some of those.. and a shower just so that I can have like a long, relaxing session in the shower with Damien Rice or something to the effect of Jonie Mitchell's 'Both Sides Now,' or 'A Chair in the Sky' playing in the background.)) I don't know why but I always found long showers and School buses really theraputic. I remember coming home from practice and I'd have on my headphones, listening to either extremes of Metal or Jazz when I was mad or not feeling so great, and it was always a dark evening, and I would just stare out the window the entire ride home. It was awesome. .. and I loved it. .... Maybe it's one of those things that literally symbolize childhood or youth that could be looked at years from now... I mean a freaking school bus? ... and it's YELLOW! with noisy teenage assholes inside, whose minds would never allow them to comprehend that perhaps other people riding in the bus would appreciate quiet on their way home... and the squeaky sliding door and the stupid, tall steps to get on and off and the empty coke bottles and bags of baked chips that were served in the cafeteria, roaming the bottom of the bus like bobble heads attatched to string and tied to the legs of the seats on the bus. .... ((I just re-read for the first time what I just wrote and the part where it says "..have a long relaxing session in the shower with Damien Rice.... sounds like I'm saying hop in the shower with him in it... ha ha... funny! but I didn't mean it like that. : | )) Anyways.. I think that's it for now 'cause I can't think of anything else to write and quite frankly, I don't feel like writing anymore. : \ ... I'm gonna paint : D -Sam | | |
| Tonight was ... I don't know.
- For about the entire time from 5:00 p.m. till about.... 8:40 p.m. I was online. Only online... nothing else, just listening to the same four songs,
- The Cranberries' "When You're Gone"
- John Mayer's "Not Myself"
- Sin Bandera's "Mientes Tambien"
-Lilly Allen's "Littlest Things" (*which, in reality, could serve as an example of my 'typical' night*) and then after I could no longer ignore the noise coming from my tripas... I had to eat something. I literally thought...I'll eat whatever is left of the peanut butter (because I knew it was only a little) and I'll have water and an orange and then that's it. I ended up eating a "Maruchan Istant Lunch" soup for the umpteenth time ..((and don't get me wrong, they are really good and they're great but... I only have one flavor in my room, which is Lemon and Shrimp not to mention that I had been eating that everyday for about a week straight, and since it was either that or another bag of Fritos, It didn't seem too appealing.))
Anyways, the point of this is that before I was actually eating the soup, I put in the movie "You've Got Mail"...., which is now the MOST frequently watched movie in my room, ---IF YOU'RE READING THIS ALEX, I KNOW, I KNOW... --- and usually it's a movie that I watch to either swoon in the romance of the plot or just admire the sincere-ness in the movie played out by the characters, but tonight... I put it on just so that I would fool myself into thinking that I wasn't thinking about one thing or ,one person. ... which was exactly what I was doing. In between the familiar lines of the "You've Got Mail" script, I would, without knowing, forget to aknowledge the fact that I was actually doing what I tried to avoid doing by puttin in this movie. ... I was just ... daydreaming.. and spacing out about one thing in particular. It sucks. I hate it so badly. I wish classes would start already! .. because if they did, I'd have something 'more important' to fill my mind with ... or to think about at least.
(((( I know that I'm not making much sense right now but since the time that I've become too lazy to pic up my journal and literally write in it... I've come to write blogs or whatever it is you would like to call them. And also, I know that it is a bit difficult to understand whatever it is I'm writing about because I choose to keep my subjects or subject annonymous but... I wouldn't have it anyother way.)))) Tonight. .... is... without a doubt one of those nights things get put into perspective for yourself, even if you don' t realize it. I mean, it's one of those times that when you're later thinking about it, you figure out what might have been right in front of you. -SAM TONIGHT IS = JANUARY 7, 2007 10:38 P.M. | | |
| ... wow!... yesterday was my first time at a gay club/bar.... it was fun. A little....crowded.. okay ... ALOT crowded but there was plenty of room on the dance floor.. which I happened to put to good use! ... ha ha. We went to Object... thats the name of the bar/club. And what was really cool was that they only charged 3 dollars to get in ... whoa! .... that was really cool. We got home around ... 2:30 -3:00 ish. And this morning I woke up with X's on my face because I didn't wash them off before I went to sleep. (*I'm a minor and I can't drink ... duh!*) *when we were at the club, .. there was this girl... damn!!! ... she was dancing like ... ... like ellen degeneres on .... ecstacy! .. but chubbier and shorter. It was super funny. ... either she was extremely drunk or she can't dance. ...and then to top it all off, I saw my step-cousin there. .. that was weird. ***- you guys should see my room... its a freakin mess. It looks like someone came in here and just took out all the stuff I had in drawers, under, on top of, next to, everything. I'm gonna clean it today. ... and I have a crap load of laundry to do. Yesterday was Big Birds birthday. ... I wished him a good one and he gave me a hug... but this happened on friday. .. it was a little surprising. OHHHH! ... I went to the Nixon-Martin game yesterday.. and of course Nixon won!!! ...Green and Gold Forever baby!!! but thank god I had my ipod with me cause I just could not for the life in me pay attention to the game the first two quarters .... I don't know if it was because to my very near left were the golden spurs (*dance team*) and to my very near right was the band ... I don't know... it was weird. ... well then I had to pee so I went and when I came back I was all into it. .... it was cool. ... I had fun. well, that's it .... for now. :) sam <3 | | |
| HAAAA! ,... I haven't written in soooo long! .... I miss those days of myspace's absence and xanga's youth! .... well, it's too bad cause... well, .... I'm on it! ... ha. ... (*please don't cancel my account*) *cowers behind mouse and keyboard* So alot of stuff has happened since the last time that I wrote. Here is a list of people that I am either 1. Not Talking To, 2. Not Friends with or 3. Just over them. 1. Melissa 2. Albert 3. Yvonne ... basically it's just those three. And, not surprisingly, the numbered situations correspond with each listed persons number. (* one and one go, two and two, and so on and so forth*) .... I also got really close to some people that I thought I never would have. As for college life, it's pretty cool and its not as stressful as I thought, I just,... I don't know. I mean, it's fucking fun! ... all the damn time! .... but,.. then there are times when I'm fucking bombarded with class work or homework or studying for tests and shit or preparing for speeches! .... it is hectic, but I don't think I'd be as happy if I wasn't in school. Oh, here at TAMIU, I met this dude, his name is Jesus,... and sometimes, whenever I see him, I get sooo freaked out. I mean, it's because he looks like a old friend that I used to have... and this friend is someone that I truely loved!..... it creeps me out sometimes.... but,... he, Jesus, is pretty cool. ... and he's funny, so, it' okay. .... damn, its just weird to be around him sometimes, ... I feel like I'm around and ex-guy or something. I mean, refreing to my old friend, not Jesus. ..... oh, well, that's it. I don't feel like writing anymore!!! .. sam <3 y'all! ...... | | |
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